CAMO UP!

QUESTION: You're out at night in a dark alley. You are approached by a man wielding a large nunchaku. What do you do?

Incorrect: Run fight, or call the police.

Correct: Open CAMO UP! on your phone or tablet and use it to hide from the armed assaillant.

CAMO UP! is by far the most advanced camouflage app on the play store. CAMO UP! employs advanced stealth technology licensed by the United States Government¹ to successfully camouflage ANYTHING, big or small.

CAMO UP! uses technology not yet released to the public to completely disguise the user while still using low battery, RAM, and internal storage. CAMO UP! has been proven² effective through years of clinical trials and Iᵌ personally recommend it. OH, and its 100% free!

Disclaimer: Use of CAMO UP! can result in lacerations, abrasions, contusions, concussions, increased risk of heart attack, loss of the use of reproductive organs, AIDS, pneumonia and even death. If you have heightened risk of heart attack, are pregnant or may become pregnant, use other prescribed medicines, are addicted to a class III psychedelic drugs, or have history of living it is not advised that you download CAMO UP!

BORING LEGAL NOTES:

¹ Not officially confirmed.

² CAMO UP! has not been clinically proven and is not advised by your doctor.

ᵌ UPpack developer does not have a degree, especially not in stealth.

This is a joke guys, a joke in disguise. Ba-Dum-Tss. But really, never EVER use this.

Please note that I do not know a lick of java, android development or whatever one uses to makes apps. I changed things until it worked (kind of).